Obstacles

Today was the first day I felt I was going to have a panic attack in a long time. I have been doing really well lately with managing my anxiety and feeling calm and at ease, but today I almost got pushed over my limit. A million things seemed to be happening at once and I didn’t know how to deal with it. I know it was an overreaction, but most panic attacks come from overreacting. I felt like I was going to burst into tears, I had trouble breathing, and I felt like I had lost control over everything.

I immediately went to my special place in town that always calms me down. It’s the gazebo out by the lagoon close to my university’s campus. I stretched out under the awning on the bench and counted twenty deep breaths, what I always do when I meditate. It helped a little, but it took awhile for me to calm myself down. I still felt tense as I gripped the steering wheel driving back to the office.

I don’t see this as regression, but merely a reminder that I constantly have to keep myself in check. Getting your stuff together is a daily process and struggle, and today tested that for me. That’s what I see it as – a test. It also made me realize that I may need extra work.

I haven’t meditated in a couple of days, so this could definitely be a cause of this issue I was having today. I definitely plan on taking some time for that in the morning.

Tomorrow is a new day.

- Kelsey